Dear Mr. Burglar,
Welcome to our humble house!
You probably knew that we were not at home today because our car was not parked in the driveway. Perhaps you rang the doorbell once, maybe twice, to confirm our absence. Then, you went around the house and may have broken one of the french windows in our living room to let yourself in. There has been talk around the neighbourhood of your modus operandi. Business is quite brisk these days, huh?
Fortunately, we come from a culture that has taught us to treat any guest as a visiting deity. Now that you have come, we welcome you. Please feel at home and help yourself to the snacks and drinks in the fridge.
One request - The milk-based, saffron-flavoured dessert in the white ceramic bowl is for our daughter's International Lunch at school tomorrow. It takes a while to make and cannot be bought at the store. So please taste a little if you wish but don't polish it all off because we will be in a fix in the morning if you do.
Have a good look around after your snack and drink. There are some worthy items in our living room like the LCD TV, the music system, the digital camera, the furniture, and our laptops. If you wish to take any of these, please feel free to do so. These items have served us faithfully for years and have great antique value. On the other hand, if you take these off our hands, we will have a good reason to buy new state-of-the-art models.
One request - You may use the trolley in the laundry room to cart away any bulky items instead of dragging them across the floor.
There are several books in our living room library on various topics ranging from children's fiction to philosophy. If you or any of your friends are interested in reading, we would strongly recommend a slim volume entitled 'The Bishop's Candlesticks' by Norman McKinnel as this story is about someone in your profession.
One request - If you find any books with bookmarks inserted in them, please spare them this time. You may either pick them up on your next visit or if you leave us a note, we will arrange to send it to you. We believe that reading liberates a person from baser instincts and should be encouraged in our society.
Among the children's toys which are scattered all over the house, you may choose any that you like. Who knows, you might even be lucky and find a teddy bear stuffed with diamonds - you know like the ones that we hear about in airport smuggling hauls? You will be proud to show it off and say that you lived up to your name in this business.
One request - please ignore the mess in our house. It is not always like this, sometimes its even worse. In your quest for treasure, you are welcome, however, to put things in order.
Most people keep gold, diamonds and important papers in heavy metallic safes. Please don't waste your valuable time in looking for one because we don't have one. We consider safes most unsafe.
You will find some traditional silver jewellery in a wooden box in the unlocked bedroom cupboard. Most of these pieces are gifts from friends who have left Oman. Although these are cherished gifts, you may take them since you have to live up to your reputation as a burglar. Our friends are in touch with us and our friendship is priceless.
Here is a challenge - try to sort out the real diamond rings (if any) from the artificial diamond rings kept in the little silk purse next to the jewellery box and take them too.
However, if it is gold and money you are seeking, you have not chosen the right timing because I have worn my gold jewellery to go out today and we keep all our cash in our purses.
Better luck next time!
(Picture courtesy: Google images)
This post was also published in Outpost Oman newsletter Sep-Oct 2015.
