“Do you know that I am sick?” said Mrs B on Monday as she coughed nervously.
“No, I don't. What happened to you?”
I did not know her very well because she had recently arrived in Muscat. I had not seen her for a long time
and had made enquiries but only received vague answers. Last week she could not
come to a meeting although she had confirmed her attendance. She had children at the same school as our daughter. She had asked me
if we were going away for the summer. I had said yes and then asked her if she
was going too.
“I am undergoing chemotherapy” she said, and then added with a
choking voice, “for cancer.”
I stood rooted to the spot, speechless, staring at her
straight blond hair, thinking about what would happen to her young children if
she died.
“I have had two surgeries already and that’s why I was not
around much lately” she said as she forced a smile.
It was not easy for her to say this. This sharing, however,
created an immediate bond between us. I told her to let me know if there was
anything I could do to help especially because she is a single mum. She said
she had made arrangements for this summer during her therapy but if she needed
any assistance in the future, she would let me know.
Oh god, if only she had told me earlier, all of us mums
together could have helped her in these difficult times before we left for
summer holidays. We would have a rota planned to care for the children, organised home-cooked meals,...done something.
It is a brave thing for cancer survivors to talk about their
disease and they are heroes in every sense of the word.
"Next summer" Mrs B said hopefully, "if all goes well, I will take the children for a big holiday."
I admired her spirit to survive.
...
When one of my mother-in-law’s friends passed away, she
lamented and talked about their friendship.
“Was she sick?” I asked.
“Yes, she had the dreadful disease” said my mother-in-law
sadly.
In our little town of Vasai, most people of my parent’s
generation called Cancer the ‘dreadful disease’ – as if by not mentioning the
word, they could wish it away.
They called snakes as janavars or ‘animals’ and whispered when they
mentioned these creatures.
Some words were considered taboo in our society.
However, as times are changing and there is more
awareness, people are breaking down these taboos and discussing openly. It is a positive sign because, unless there is openness, we cannot help and support each other.
